- What score would you give your essay? Why?
- Are you surprised by any of the sample scores? Why or why not?
- Based on these essays and their scores, what do you wish you would have done differently?
- Is there anything that you could of incorporated that would have made your essay better?
I scored my essay as a seven. I believed I had a clearly stated thesis and it was relatively well developed with analysis and evidence. I employed a variety of verb choices, instead of repetitively stating “used”. My essay is concise yet long enough to fully develop and explain the points I stated in the thesis.
ReplyDeleteI was shocked that Essay 1A received an 8, a higher score than Essay 2A that received a 6. I had scored 1A as a 7, while giving 2A a 9. 1A did not have an effective thesis and did not even state the author’s name. Although it included decent analysis and evidence, the writer shamed the speaker and her other saying that “they ought to celebrate the bountiful harvest.” I believe this statement lessens the credibility of the writer, and shows that the writer missed the meaning of the poem: which is that this is a common struggle among many families and a difficult decision to make. As far as essay 2A I believed it was extremely well-written with concise analysis and relevant evidence. Also the thesis and conclusion clearly stated the purpose of the essay.
I would add more quoted evidence to my essay. I often would vaguely reference the text but not include specific examples to support my interpretations. I also would try to elaborate and explain my points better. Other than that, I am confident that by fixing that I would earn an 8.
I would have given my essay an overall score of a 6. While I enjoyed this poem and it was much easier to understand than some others we have read, there were so many different concepts in it that stood out to me I struggled with developing the ideas in my paper while attempting to include as much detail as possible. Also, I should have tried harder to intertwine each device I addressed in my thesis rather than trying to focus on one at a time, only causing me to lose track of how I planned to discuss the next device in my thesis. However, I did understand this poem and kept my thesis concise while doing my best to stick through it in the entirety of my essay. I was surprised by the score and comments of essay 1A. I didn't feel like the writers opening paragraph was much of a thesis describing how he planned to analyze the poem or any other devices besides figurative language. Also, I felt like he included more details than necessary in what was supposed to be his thesis, although the details he used did include a connection to the prompt. After reading these essays and their scores, I should have focused more on the metaphors seen throughout the poem and their deeper ties to both the family and the absent father. Also, whileI briefly discussed some of the images, I should have continued their development and a stronger description of what they represented instead of what they physically appeared to be. I know I could have done a little more to strengthen their inclusion in the essay. By including further analyzation of how the elements went to parallel the tree, I feel like my paper would have a much stronger tone and understanding of the poem. After rereading it, I didn't seem to write like I fully understood it even though I know I did. If I could add more of its appeal to pathos and connect them to the images depicted, I would give myself a better score.
ReplyDeleteI would give my essay the score of a 6 or 7. I thought that I, like essay 1B, had a "reasonable" analysis, but I think I was more persuasive than essay 1B was. I used enough examples to prove my points for the most part, but I could have developed my essay more in some places to be more convincing.
ReplyDeleteI agree with giving essay 1A an 8, though this was not the case before I read the graders' reasoning behind it. I thought that some parts of the essay displayed an inaccurate understanding of the poem, but it turns out I was the one who did not understand it. I agreed with the grading of 1B, but I though that 1C got too high of a grade. I gave it a 3 due to its misunderstanding of the poem.
The only thing I would have done differently in my essay would have been to elaborate more on my ideas. My essay would have been more convincing if this was the case.
One thing that I could have incorporated to improve my essay was the shift from literal to figurative language because this was a very important part of the poem. Unfortunately, I did not even think about this shift while reading the poem and planning my essay.
I'm never really sure how to accurately grade my own papers because I always feel like I'm biased toward my skills (or lack of skills). That being said I think I would give myself at least a 6 because I'm sure there is something I did wrong/missed that an AP grader would find and take points off for. A lot of the time I'll feel really confident about an essay and then it turns out I didn't do so gray or organized it badly. I feel like I understood the poem pretty well and after reading the other sample essays I saw I had a lot of the same points as the first essay like the leas of logic and emotion and the tree symbolizing family and heritage. Even thought I agreed with most of the points of essay 1A I was still surprised that it received an 8. I didn't like the intro very much and I thought the part where the writer said the speaker and her mother "ought to celebrate the bountiful harvest" was a little odd. Besides that I thought the essay was good and the writer really understood the poem; it was obviously the best poem of the three. I wasn't surprised with the grades of essay 1B and 1C; I thought both of them were a little vague and summarized too much at times. The organization of essay 1B seemed weird to me especially the really short paragraph (paragraph 4). Essay 1C seemed really off in their interpretation so I was kinda shocked it even got a four. After reading these I think my main problem was with organizing my thoughts and trying to plan my essay in the time given. I found that like halfway through the second or third paragraph I would just suddenly think of something or realize something but I felt like I was already on a different art of my essay so it was weird to try to fit the new things I thought of into the essay. I also feel like I should have developed some of my thoughts a bit more. I'm never sure if I explain the significance of the quotes and literary techniques I use in my essay enough so I fell like to be better safe then sorry I should have also elaborated on/developed all of those more too.
ReplyDeleteI would give myself a 6/7. My introduction explains everything I will talk about in my essay, including types of figurative language and how it shows the relationship between the family and tree. I also mentioned the Faustian dilemma being a basis of the poem. The reasons keeping my essay from a higher score is that I'm not sure if it's very persuasive and my conclusion sentence could have been a lot better.
ReplyDeleteI was not surprised at all by the grades on the sample essays. The first one was very well written, gave many supporting references, and stayed focused as it continuously referred back to the thesis. The second one was okay, but many things could have used more elaboration and it didn't seem to refer back to the thesis, almost like the author was thinking of new things and throwing them in as he/she went. The third one was horrible from the start. I honestly didn't want to read past the first paragraph but, I did. After reading further, I saw that the author made effort of developing his/her ideas and did, at some points, make sense.
If I would have rewritten this essay, I would have included foreshadowing. I didn't consider it before, but now I see that there are so many things I could have written about with it. Although my final sentence kind of sums up the overall theme, I would rewrite wrap the essay up as a whole, as it should.
After reading all of these different essay sample I think that I would give myself a 6. I didn't include a very strong thesis and although a used examples of the figurative language used, I could have elaborated on the them more. I could have included more text references in my paper. The paper that scored an 8 used many text references to back up the arguments that they made. I also could have probably organized my paragraphs more smoothly and included better verbs.
ReplyDeleteThe paper that scored an 8 did not surprise me. They had a very good thesis and all of their paragraphs went into an elaborate and detailed of the different views that the poet had. I was a little surprised on the one that got a 6. They seemed to not have a very good understanding of the symbolism in the poem. They focused mostly on the metaphors and simile get in my opinion didn't play that big of a role in the poem compared to the role of symbolism. the paper that scored a 4 really surprised me. I didn't that it was a very good paper but I didn't expect it to get that low of a score. When I look back on the essay though, they did summarize a lot of the poem instead of analyzing its content.
I wish that I would have used my time a little better given myself enough time to make a plan. That would have helped a lot with the flow of the essay and that was something that my essay is lacking. I also would have used more text references like the person who wrote the 8 did.
I likely wouldn't give my essay more than a 5. My arguments seemed to just echo the literal sense of the poem without delving into its deeper meaning. They felt hollow and without much analysis, and my thesis was sufficient but that's about it. The sample scores on the essays weren't a surprise to me. I feel like we've read enough essays by this point in the class to be able to identify what a good essay should look like. That being said, the essay that scored the highest was extremely well written. Those essays made me think my organization was off somehow, though I'm not exactly sure how I would correct it. I feel like if I had taken more time in my planning instead of going basically straight into writing the essay and taken more time to plan my thoughts, I could have developed my arguments to the point where they became a decent essay. Time management on the essays is going to be difficult for me to do, and this essay reinforced that.
ReplyDeleteI would have given my essay either a 6 or 7. I did have good arguments for my prompt, but I still need to work on my organization and making sure I add in all my details and evidence from the text, mainly quotes, and when I do have my evidence, I need to provide a substantial analysis of that evidence in order to back up my thesis. Organization has been my Achilles heel when it comes to essays like these, but I do see improvement from my previous essays. When I looked over the sample essays I was given, I could clearly see why these were graded the ways they were. I have had to do a lot of grading for my other AP classes, so that has helped me see the different types of writing and how these essays are scored. By being able to look over another paper and see the grade along with how those points were earned, I learn what I need to do in order to earn that grade. The two major things that I would focus on to improve my essay would be to go into further analysis of specific examples from the text and time management so I am not rushed at the end of my essay.
ReplyDeleteI would give myself a 6 or 7 on this essay, but I'm never really good at grading myself so I don't know know how accurate that is. I thought my essay was a reasonable analysis, but I didn't think it was anything really special and I felt like there were certain points that I could've elaborated on more. The thing I would've changed would be to add more elaboration, but at the same time, it's really the best I could do since we only have 40 minutes to write it. I acknowledged the shift from the literal to the figurative meaning of the tree like essay 1A but I felt like they did it in a more eloquent, explained manner. I wish I had included something about the bountiful tree representing the vitality and perseverance of the family like 1A did. I was shocked that 1C received a 4. I would have given it a 2 or 3 because I thought they just completely misread the poem. The part where it said the use of the word "and" represented the father's love of nature really made me question how they got a 4 because it seemed very off base to me. The scores for both 1A and 1B didn't surprise me at all because they were both reasonable analyses, but just on different levels with 1A obviously being higher.
ReplyDeleteIf I were to score my essay, I would probably give myself a six. I think that I had good points in my essay that I was trying to make but Im not really sure if I explained them as well as I should have. The time crunch really gets to me and I need to work on staying calm and just focusing on my plans rather than getting stressed out and worrying too much about running out of time. After reading the sample essays I think that I should have provided more textual evidence in my essay and I should have referred back to the text a lot more than I did. I also think that I should have included more about how the figurative language and symbolism add to the entire work as a whole. I think that I explained how they helped to convey the relationship between the tree and family but I should have written more and elaborated on their effect on the overall meaning. I wasn't surprised at all by the scoring of an 8 on sample essay 1A. It was a very well written essay that used lots of intriguing vocabulary and referred back to the text multiple times. In addition to all of this, this essay had many well supported literary devices that helped convey the meaning of the work. I think that essay 1C was graded fairly high for what was written. I wouldn't say the essay was completely off topic but they definitely missed the point, in my opinion. Something I really need to work on before the exam is my use and expansion of vocabulary.
ReplyDeleteI would give my essay a 6 because I should have planned it out better when writing it. If I would have taken the time to plan it out, although I did annotate, I would have had a better lay out to follow. I spent more time thinking than planning because for some reason I just had a mind block. My intro was concise and highlighted the main point of an intro and I am content with how that part of my essay was written. In my first pragraph I discussed the effect that the details had on the overal poem and I was heading in the right direction, but I should have anazlyzed the examples more than I did. My second body paragraph I focused on imagery, which I did a pretty good job of analyzing although I could have added more to the paragraph. In my last body paragraph I discussed how the tree symbolized the family bond and I didn;t finish that paragraph, but I was on the right track. The best thing I can think that I need to improve is my time management. I originally was going to give myself a 5, but after reading essay C, I figured that was too close to their score. That essay was at most a 3 to me because they interpreted the poem in a rather.. unique way. I didn't think my essay was as great as essay A, so an 8 was too high to rate mine. I think mine best fit the critera of a 6 after reading essay B and realizing that a 5 was too harsh considering the way the sample essays were graded.
ReplyDeleteI would have given myself a 6 or 7 because I felt that my reasoning and findings were all backed up really well, I just lacked more detail and text support.
ReplyDeleteI was surprised by the sample score for 1A because I did not find it as great as the graders did. Perhaps I just found the paragraphs not too insightful. I was also surprised by 1B making a 6. I know a 6 is not an amazing score, but it still seems pretty good for it being such a short analysis. I thought 1C deserved an even worse grade. At first I was wondering if they even read the same poem I did. I know sometimes my ideas and interpretations are a little wild, but this was just sadly bad. I would have given it a 2 or 3.
I wish I would have had a much better organization with what I was portraying. I had a solid idea of what the poem meant, and what I was trying ti say, I just was not very good at organizing it into paragraphs. I like how 1A did it, because they were able to reach the whole poem and subdivide it into different literary and poetic devices throughout the paragraphs. Though I feel like they could have found more, the writer did a good job of mentioning the key factors and details that help support his idea. I also feel like I should add more detail and text support to support my argument, because many times I go too deep into one small detail, waste time, and skip over more important things due to lack of time. I should probably manage my time a lot better. The TPCASTT's have actually really helped me with time management when interpreting poems, so that makes me believe that I could probably still improve some more with it.
I felt that I had a strong grasp on the poem and that my paper therefore offered a solid analysis, but after reading the sample essay that scored an 8, I think my paper is a 7, despite my original grade of an 8. I changed my mind because I noticed that, while I shared several points with the other student, they went beyond the points I made and always addressed the complexity of the walnut tree. I realized also after reading the first sample essay that I did not discuss tone to the extent that I should have. None of the scores surprised me, which I think is a good sign, meaning that I am better understanding the expectations of the essay and what "sets apart" essays, especially those on the 8/9 and 5/6 borders. For example, I would have given the second essay a 5, but AP readers are supposed to "reward" students for what they do right, so I understand why it is a 6 instead.
ReplyDeleteI would give my essay a 7 because I thought my analysis was pretty decent but I wrote a whole paragraph about diction but called it syntax. I was surprised by 1A because I thought it would've scored around a 6. I thought a lot of the wording was strange, but I guess the overall analysis was pretty good. I wish I wouldn't have broken my paragraphs up into devices and instead ordered my essay by analysis. I should've addressed the nonchalant way that selling the tree is addressed and the progression to more serious deliberation about the tree.
ReplyDeleteI would've given my essay a solid 6. I knew at the time I was writing it, it wasn't going to be very eloquent. I had strong evidence but I didn't develop my argument fully. In retrospect I noticed all the things I could've addressed to really go more in depth that I didn't get a chance to do. Anyways, I was surprised by the score the first essay (1A) got. I didn't feel like their thesis was very clear? I had trouble following it.
ReplyDeleteI would have given my essay a 5/6. After reading the examples I could definitely see where I should have developed my argument more and that I kind of just explained basic ideas of the poem. I see now that I should have tried to make my analysis more thorough in my planning rather than just jotting down a few things and going straight into writing the essay. I feel like if I had done so I would've developed better points and found more to address. I too was surprised by the score given to 1A, the essay made good points by I found it hard to follow.
ReplyDeleteI would give my essay a 7-8 because while my essay wasn't very lengthy, I feel like I fully explained each rhetorical technique Oliver included in the poem. Personally, I feel that this poem was hard to analyze for rhetorical techniques--I only found a couple. Maybe I need to brush up on that...
ReplyDeleteI was surprised that the last essay got a 4 because whoever wrote it completely misunderstood the mother and daughter's view towards the tree and at one point had conflicting views. In one part of the essay, the writer claims that "they would cut it down with little regret" but then goes on to say that "they would feel terrible." I scored it as a 3.
I wish I would have paid more attention to the switch from an appeal to logos to an appeal to pathos because I could have written a lot on that transition. I already wrote a paragraph on pathos, but if I included logos, my essay would be more developed.
Although there was much that could have been done to improve my essay, given the time restraint and quality of work, I would give my essay a 6. I think my analysis was more than adequate and could possibly be a 7, except for the fact that I may have misinterpreted the poem to some degree and left out some techniques that could have been discussed. I am definitely surprised by 1A, not because of the score, but because of the length of the essay itself. My essay, in contrast to it, seemed to be too short and I could have elaborated upon each technique in order to drastically improve it. Compared to the sample essay, 1B, I feel that my essay is only slightly better, and not completely deserving of a 7. Although I really liked both my introduction and concluding statement, I could have cited more evidence from the poem in the body in order to support my argument. Additionally, I could have incorporated an analysis of tone, a critical element for understanding the poem. I also think that it might have been best to not center the discussion on the techniques because it inhibits the flow of the work. Even though I didn't exactly center my essay around them, I know I could have worked them in better. Overall, I like where I went with the essay and am fairly happy comparing it to the essay samples given.
ReplyDeleteI would score my essay a 7. Quite simply, it is not as good as the 8 and it's better than the 6. I think what separates them is the ability to stay focused and kindle a single organizational flow throughout the whole essay. I separated my paragraphs by literary device, but I think that approach limited my organized flow. My evidence did not connect as well as I thought it did. There were a few things I could have elaborated on, making my thesis ring through the paper.
ReplyDeleteI am not very surprised by the scores. Reading through the analysis, I can see why the graders liked or disliked the essays. I wish I would have emphasized the shift. There is a shift that happens in my own paper, but I need to name it and use it with literary devices to explain my point. That would give strength to my argument, and boosting my persuasive factor bumps up my score.
Also, while writing the essay, there were a few different ideas I had in my head of what the poem was really about. I think I learned that I need to pick ONE idea before I start--the best one I can think of--and stick with it. I try to display my complex thinking through hinting at different ideas sometimes, but I think it hurts me, because from that comes disorganization.
Usually I feel like my time management during essays is fine and that have enough time to get out all of my ideas. On this essay, I think I spent too much time reading and analyzing it and when I read the prompt at first, I overthought it and was confused. When I realized that I was just overthinking everything, I then felt rushed to get out all my ideas and ended up summarizing which would be a 5.
ReplyDeleteThe essay that scored the 8 focused a lot more on the tree and how specific examples gave the tree the role of a symbol “with undeniable familial value”. I know that I should have analyzed a lot more on that in my essay. When I read the poem for the first time, I interpreted the father to be god. The dream the speaker had was about god first filling the land with vines and orchards- including the Black Walnut tree along with it. I thought of the next few lines about crawling with shame represented the family realizing that god’s creations were more important than worrying of the money issues. Going back, I probably should have taken father more literally than symbolically but I do feel like that my analysis (at least what was in my head) would have been enough to make the point of the tree and it’s overall value
After discussing in class, I also wish that I would have analyzed the final line because it is probably the best or one of the best lines that shows the relationship between family and tree. The families fault was thinking that he tree causes no harm when in reality, the “whip-crack” of the mortgage causes all the problems- not the deep-rooted tree.